::Sigh:: ok serious issues... This is day two back from NYC visiting my wonderful boyfriend. Why does he have to be so far away. Perhaps its time to disclose the story of how I came to be with the man I believe is the love of my life.

A little over 10 years ago when I was 17, I was first introduced to the internet. This was long before webcams and digital cameras were popular and right when chatting and meeting people on the internet first became a big deal. I messaged a random person I found using AOL's profile search not really knowing what I was in for. Turns out the person on the other side was a person that would change my life forever. Unfortunatly he lived in California and I lived in Ohio. We talked every day online and sometimes even on the phone. I experianced my first time having phone sex with him...lol....I became very close to him he sent me a letter and a picture in the mail. I really grew to love him and care about him deeply. The fact that he lived thousands of miles away from me grew to be a huge issue for me. I couldnt deal with it and slowly started to push him away. We would message eachother from time to time and did our best to stay in touch. But I didnt realize that I had pushed aside the best friend I had ever had in my life.

I got married, had children.... and went through the most trying parts of my life without him. All the while wishing I was still in better contact with him. My husband was controling and jealous and wouldnt let me talk to my male friends. Finally one January morning a year and a half ago, I was so lonely and depressed of my situation, I decided I needed him so bad I couldnt take another day without him. I emailed him with intentions to tell him happy birthday. Not knowing if he evens till kept the same email address after all of these years. I told him I was married and that I had children and that I missed him. To my delight he emailed me back the very next day. Also saying he missed me and telling me that he was going to law school in New York.

This was fantastic! He was on the east coast?!??! The same time zone as me? over the next couple of weeks we started to connect again. Very quickly. We would email back and forth every day and talk on the phone on my lunch at work. I knew feelings were starting to stir up and I knew I shouldnt be emtionally involved with another man like this but how could I not be? He was there to listen to me talk about my problems with my husband. He was there for me to cry to about the abuse and the pain.

Somehow... still unknown to me to this day I convinced my husband that we should go on a trip to NY and that while we were there we should meet up with my friend. Crazy huh? After 10 years of talking to someone on the internet I finally got to meet him. The thing is, I was already falling in love with him and I didnt even know it. We got there and I walked off that elevator with my so called husband into the hotel lobby and saw him standing there and my heart sank. I knew right then and there.... we hung out for the weekend. With short seldem moments with out my husband where we just Hugged. The best hugs I have ever had in my life.

Once we got back home, things just grew worse with my husband. Mostly because I now knew I didnt have to put up with the bull shit that he was putting me through and that I could easily be happy without him. I grew increasingly sick of the way he was treating me and our children and how his lazy p.o.s. ass didnt do a single thing around the house. I would talk to my friend daily about how bad I wanted to leave him and he would listen day after day after day.

Quickly it became apparent that the two of us were developing feelings for eachother that were much deeper than friendship. I convinced my husband to let me go visit him alone in exchange for letting him go on a vacation by himself later in the year. My friend paid for my plane ticket. I got to stay with him friday night, all day saturday and had to leave sunday afternoon. It was such an amazing weekend. I know what you are thinking, but I didnt sleep with him and still havent till this day even though we are still together. We just cuddled, kissed, talked endlessly and loved eachother.

The thing is that hes very into his culture and he is still a virgin. Very rare to find an atractive man at the age of 26 who has never had sex. Were not talking about someone who can not find a woman that would want to be with him. Hes a successful, attactive law student in NYC... Its a choice, that he has stuck by. Which I am struggling with but I do resepect his decision.

So after debating for almost a year and following some pretty crazy incidents.... I finally made the decision to remove myself and my children from the situation I was in with my husband. I left my home, job, and friends in Kentucky and moved in with my sister in Ohio. I had to file a protective order against my husband and now I have to wait till July to file for a divorce because Ive not been a resident of Ohio for 6 months.

So now me and my friend, well my boyfriend now I guess, are taking it as slow as possible considering we are completely in love with eachother. I have never felt like this in my life. The way he makes me feel is unexplainable. Even without the sex. He came here to visit me a month ago and just flew me to see him last weekend. He plans on flying me there in 2 weeks for my birthday.

Obviously he loves me right? I mean why else would he spend all this money on me if he didnt? Its not like its for the sex, since we arent having it. Its really hard for me considering I havent had sex in almost 6 months. I guess its really best that we at least wait till the divorce is finalized. Theres other means of pleasure....right? Hes taking care of me thats all that matters. Ugh its just so amazing to lay and with him and get lost in his eyes. We spend hours talking and its great. I love it..... but it gets tough when were in the heat of the passion, I try to convince him that we should do it. I know its bad, i tell him I respect his decision and that I wont pressure him and then I go insane. I cant help it hes just so sexy! And a Nympho that hasnt been laid in 6 months and a self declared virgin... what a combination. This should be interesting.....

Journey status: Wanting it bad!